NAME Jason Ballard
ETHNIC HERITAGE Oregonian
TIME & PLACE OF BIRTH Portland, OR - Year of the Pig
CHILDHOOD HOMES Milwaukie (Oregon)
HIGH SCHOOL Rex Putnam (Milwaukie)
CURRENT RESIDENCE Southeast
CURRENT JOB Tile Setter
BEST JOB EVER Tile Setter
WORST JOB EVER Tile Setter









HEY JASON - WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE . . .

Food? Bacon cheeseburgers
Drink? Beer
Drug? Ibuprofen
Celebrity? Gary Busey
Celebrity death? Bob Crane
TV show? Spongebob Squarepants
Movie? Grandma's Boy
Song? Workin' Man's Blues, by Merle Haggard
Chord C-flat
Musician? Hank Williams Sr.
Author? Homer
Politician? Adlai Stevenson
Athlete? Maurice Lucas
Team? Brooklyn Dodgers
Sport? Motocross
Ideology? Shit happens
Religion? 24-hour Church of Elvis
Superstition? Black cats
Lost cause? Feminism
Hair-do? Combed
Color scheme? Olive drab
Fashion accessory?                           Cowboy boots
Weapon? Razor-sharp wit
Crime? Littering
Ride? 1953 Chevy pick-up
Animal? Bigfoot
Animal-human hybrid? Teen Wolf
Type of foreplay? Hey, wake up . . .
Position? The double-kangaroo scissor kick
Phobia? Stage fright
Disease? Either rockin' pneumonia or boogie-woogie flu
Way to die? In my sleep