| NAME | Ivan French |
| ETHNIC HERITAGE | Scots-Irish-Czech |
| TIME & PLACE OF BIRTH | San Francisco, CA - Year of the Dog |
| CHILDHOOD HOMES | San Francisco, Boston, New York City |
| HIGH SCHOOL | Jefferson |
| CURRENT RESIDENCE | Southeast |
| CURRENT JOB | Entertainment industry |
| BEST JOB EVER | Setting up Kenny Chesney's Vibe Room |
| WORST JOB EVER | Plugging rat-holes in crawl spaces |
| HEY IVAN - WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE . . . |
| Food? | Anything with 2 eyes, carne asada style |
| Drink? | Jameson's |
| Drug? | Weed |
| Celebrity? | Toby Keith |
| Celebrity death? | Isadora Duncan |
| TV show? | Love American Style |
| Movie? | Dog Day Afternoon |
| Song? | Bird On a Wire, by Leonard Cohen |
| Chord? | A |
| Musician? | Willie Dixon |
| Author? | I. B. Singer |
| Politician? | Al Sharpton |
| Athlete? | Playboy Buddy Rose |
| Team? | East Side Fists |
| Sport? | Bowling |
| Ideology? | Torching SUVs |
| Religion? | Baptism of Fire |
| Superstition? | Itchy palms |
| Lost cause? | Bipeds |
| Hair-do? | Greasy |
| Color scheme? | Pink |
| Fashion accessory? | Scarves |
| Weapon? | Ice pick |
| Crime? | Slavery |
| Ride? | Chevy |
| Animal? | Opossum |
| Human-animal hybrid? | Pegasus |
| Type of foreplay? | You ready? |
| Position? | 69 |
| Phobia? | Claustro |
| Disease? | Ebola |
| Way to die? | Freezing |